One of the best games of last year (as reported by several varied websites), Slime Morimori Dragon Quest, is confirmed for a US release. That means it’s being localized into English, with the vast tapestry of Japanese sound words inserted into the names of the various characters, devices, and locations changed into a handful of repeated English sound words relating to slime or bouncing! The main town is called Boingburg, for crying out loud! I don’t know if this is ridiculous or dumb! I don’t mind either way!

Square-Enix’s offical E3 announcement page for the game shows a screen wherein a King Slime addresses the main character as “Blubly,” though I sincerely pray he’s just, I don’t know, using some kind of Slime-speak for “Lovely.” (Tips for localizers: try fitting “glorbjous” in there somewhere!!)

As you can see, the game will be called “Rocket Slime,” an odd pairing of words; it reminds me vaguely of something like a phenomenon I’ve only ever witnessed alone.

I . . . didn’t mean to type that!!

Anyway, I personally find this game to be extremely amazing because it basically does everything that every little Zelda game gets applauded for, only it does it right. It’s tight, it’s fun, it’s got dynamics, it’s innovative as few games that play “traditionally” ever are (boss battles see you micromanaging a giant Slime-tank, watching the DS’s top screen for logical visual cues on how to react, and then loading cannons and/or trying to line up your opponent for an invasion), and best of all, it’s not cloying or patronizing. Do anticipate it, with vengeance. american game reviewers looking for an opinion to color your coverage of this game, you have one right here: GO!!

Also, yeah, they mention some other games on there, too. I’m especially excited about “Megatouch: Mobile Arcade” — my personal favorite kind of game for public restrooms!!

Here’s an odd one! Biz Taiken (loosly, ‘hands-on business’) is a new series (we’ll see if they make it past one) for the PSP, which teaches you practical business sense in an adventure/visual novel-like scenario. Bottom left link on the site shows you a movie, if you want to cut to the chase, but I’ll explain a bit more for those of you who are interested. It’s got a pretty Gyakuten Saiban (Phoenix Wright)-like art style for the characters, which are often laid over photographs that have been doctored to look a bit more illustration-y. But in spite of the cartoonish style, it seems to be aimed at serious business folks.

It stars a 29 year old average salaryman, who has an average job, and a steady (average?) girlfriend. She’s probably someone he could settle down with. But deep in his heart, he’s thinking – “Is it alright for me to just be a salaryman my whole life?” Then one day, his life is changed. Randomly on the street, he meets a guy from his school days, who he never thought much of. But it turns out he was doing very well in business, and basically living the life of a celebrity, with a big house, a model for a girlfriend, and other enviables (I just made that word up! oho!). Shinbu has to deal with the harsh reality of his salaryman status, and see about changing his life.

Within the game, your aim is to gain status, learn business terms, and become top in your company. Theoretically, the game provides simple explanations for complex business ideas, tactics and lingo, in a method that’s ‘so fun you won’t realize you’re learning.’ It’s got multiple endings of course, so you have to go through and learn by repetition. The game charts your progress, and also occasionally submits you to tests of knowledge. In many ways, it’s like an odd japanese serious game.


Something particularly odd is that the game is by a company called Kokuyo. This is their first game, as their primary business is stationary and office products, such as ledgers (which they began making in 1905), office chairs and cubicle partitions. They do seem to be thriving as a company though, so perhaps their insight will be useful. As another odd note, the company only seems to employ relatives as high executives, with Zentaro Kuroda, Shonosuke Kuroda, Yasunosuke Kuroda, and finally Akihiro Kuroda comprising the full list of company presidents through history. I wonder if that’s in the game? “To succeed in business, be born into the right family!”

Biz Taiken came out on march 9th for 4,800 yen, and predictably did not chart in the top ten. Number 10 for the month was the aging Monster Hunter Portable, with 17,282 units. Soooooo. Still an interesting idea though. You could even buy it if you’re some kind of weirdo.

We learn through RPG Fan that Bandai will be publishing a US version of Eiyuu Densetsu: Gagharv Trilogy – Shiroki Majo. That’s the very first game in the trilogy, a full PSP remake of Falcom’s Eiyuu Densetsu [The Legend of Heroes] III: Shiroki Majo, and retardedly arrives in the US after the second one, Akai Shizuku (Eiyuu Densetsu IV), which, again retardedly, was called ‘The Legend of Heroes’ there. It seems this one will (you guessed it – ‘retardedly’) be called ‘The Legend of Heroes II: Prophecy of the Moonlight Witch’, which leads us to wonder what’s needed for these US publishers to understand that it was already enough with the Final Fantasy VI and Tales of Eternia naming fiascos. Not to mention that US Bandai said at the time that it skipped Gagharv Trilogy: Shiroki Majo due to its substandard quality. Clear your ideas up, sirs.

Gamer’s Quarter contributor, IC forum-goer, and replay-recorder dessgeega has released a new game (for Windows PCs) titled Invader. Also helping out are forum members Mister Toups (who supplied some tasty chiptunes) and Persona (on title artwork). As its story goes, “Invader Sammie’s spaceship has been shot down over an alien world. If she wants to see her partner or her podlings again, she’ll have to find some way to reach the surface and escape.”
It’s a side-scrolling, exploration-focused shooter that takes inspiration from Metroid, Cybernoid, and Section Z, and it’s a lot of fun, so give it a try.

And while you’re at it, grab dess’s brilliant little previous release, Kill Your Television.