Tohohohoho, my lovelies! It’s me, tim rogers, once again. I’ve been fighting The Demons for a while, though I’m back now, to celebrate this joyful day — manga artist and character designer Akira Toriyama’s birthday (note: actually, it’s not his birthday) — by posting three reviews on my hot website Action Button Dot Net (that’s ABDN for short). Witness Dragon Quest Swords get roasted — two stars out of four! Witness a thoughtful, generous three-star appraisal of Blue Dragon — just in time for the holidays! And grab a Chai Tea Latte with extra Splenda and settle in for the long haul as Classic Tim Rogers bestows an almighty four stars unto the legendary Chrono Trigger! Brace yourself, darlings, for there be many sweeping generalities and portentous intonations regarding videogames ahead!
If this post wasn’t informative enough, or if you’re sitting on the fence — if you just can’t decide whether to click or not — let me reveal one of the revelations revealed in one of the reviews, namely that Robo’s Theme from Chrono Trigger borrows snippets of its melody from Rick Astley’s 1988 single “Never Gonna Give You Up“. How could anyone alive make a connection like that and not also pen a worth-reading game review?
I’ll see you all again, someday, I promise!