E3 2012: Revengeance

For me, E3 started the Sunday night before, when I, along with most of the Insert Credit staff, almost died in an elevator. The floor indicator froze on 3, then jerked like a roller-coaster whiplash aimed directly at our bowels, then teleported us to 6 and did it again and again. Calmer minds suggested that due to the design of a modern elevator, they cannot fall; said calmer minds were still very much freaked out. We tried the call box. It didn’t work. We did make it out alive, and celebrated by watching that one episode of the Power Rangers where all ten Red Rangers show up in a single episode. I looked at Spencer Yip (Siliconera), who I had not said a single word to that entire evening, and said: “Nice to meet you. I’m Patrick Miller, and I will forever remember you as One Of The Guys I Almost Died In An Elevator With.”

We are in a business of creating and consuming recreational realities, and E3 is the supreme recreational reality, with tanks and free booze and hot girls paying attention to us just about everywhere. Our business thrives by trivializing death; we started the show by ever-so-slightly making eye contact with death, and then flinching. It kinda put things in context. It was a moment of clarity.

What follows are a few more moments of clarity from E3 2012. Read them, and you might never have to go to E3 again.

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