I would have published it here, though I love attention (evidence: 5,500 Twitter followers, posting something on the internet right now, etc), and also Kotaku gives me enough money to buy a new pair of shoes with every article I write.
I was going to make it a top ten list, and then I decided I’d had almost enough of people complaining about the length of my articles, so I restricted myself to eight. Kotaku is a Real Journalism Website, so I was working with a deadline: I didn’t have time to put any sort of squeeze on the text to make it ten snappy entries instead of eight roomy ones. Oh, well!
regarding the perfect situational compound videofriction
a writtenthing about castlevania, by the milliseconds
by tim rogers
This week, a reader of my Formspring asked me a question regarding compound videofrictions. My 2,000-word answer details what I think to be the superlative example of what professional action game designers who look exactly like me often call “situational compound videofriction”: Richter Belmont’s back-step in Dracula X: Rondo of Blood for the PC-Engine Duo.
“ten super nintendo games you can purchase for less than $100 each”
by tim rogers
Hello, my lovelies!
I suppose many of you don’t know that I have a Formspring. Formspring is a website where people can ask people questions, either anonymously . . . or nonymously.
I’ve been glibly, quickly, hiply answering a lot of questions in as few words as possible (“What magazine would you most like to be on the cover of?” “Big Penis Decadely”), though every now and again I look at a question and decide to give it a good once-over.
Someone recently asked me “I just got a SNES, and you just so happen to be in control of the next ten games I will buy and play on the SNES. What are the 10 games I should play that aren’t going going to cost 100+ on ebay? And what are 1 or 2 rarer games that are worth it?”
I liked this question, so I decided to give it a long answer — which I have decided to post here. I had fun answering it. So: it gives me an idea — send me questions to my Formspring, either anonymously or not, and maybe I’ll answer them in a short feature post like this on insertcredit.com. Or maybe I won’t! I reserve the right to ignore your question with extreme prejudice.
So . . . think of this as something of a slower-paced, text-based, one-question installment of the insert credit dot com podcast. (I’ve just given myself the idea to write short features based on previous insertcredit.com podcast questions. Oh man. We should do that, guys.)
Anyway, let’s get on with my little answer to that big question:
Hi guys! It’s’a me, tim rogers. Brandon, Frank, and I have been talking — for about two years — about starting a podcast. So after the seven-thousandth joke re: us getting that podcast going someday transpired, fell smack on the floor, and made us feel real sad, I knew just what to do: call up this hotshot kid I know who has a really quick brain for thinking about them dumb videogames: Alex Jaffe. He’d previously helped me have more fun writing a Kotaku article than I’d ever had, so I thought he’d be perfect for helping us craft the perfect podcast. So, just the other day, when the sadness re: not having a podcast of my own was really getting to me, I decided to ask him to help us finally make it happen. So here it is. I’m going to let Alex Jaffe introduce the show, and hopefully this won’t be the last time — or even a significant fraction of the times — he introduces us:
Nearly a decade ago, insert credit dot com was established as the premier location for jerks to write about video games. Then, in February of 2009, the site went dark.
Two years later we returned, but let’s face it: the insert credit of today is not the one you remember. So let’s make things personal again. Every week, yours truly — Alex Jaffe — will host Brandon Sheffield, tim rogers, and Frank Cifaldi in an hour of relentlessly on-topic video game discussion addressing all the hard-hitting issues of the day, all while making a bunch of dumb jokes.
The premise is simple: instead of rambling tangentially on a single topic for ninety minutes or two hours (or three hours), we bring you ten talking points relegated to no more than six minutes each, making for sixty minutes of lucid, juicy content. Any time left over at the end will be designated for a rapid fire lightning round, as our panel attempts to quickly address as many quick questions as possible before the final buzzer. We’re pretty proud of how it’s been turning out so far!
But as hot as we are, we will only be getting hotter. As the insert credit dot com podcast develops, you can expect elaborate themes and imaginative challenges for our panel, myriads of guest panelists from the worlds of game journalism and development, and an emerging gameshow style format which will pioneer podcasting as a competitive sport reaching its glorious head as an olympic event in the year 2148 by declaring the most insightful and hilarious contributor, as measured against a predefined rubric, the winner of the interview.
We hope that you’ll give us a listen, subscribe on iTunes, and if you like it, leave a review. If you have any questions you’d like to ask our illustrious panel, send them to gorblax (at) gmail (dot) com with the subject line “Insert Credit Podcast”. You may just hear them on the show!
It’s official: I have seen “The Avengers” more than once. I will not say how many times more than once I have seen “The Avengers”, because that would shatter my reputation as someone who hates almost everything.
I come to you today as a news reporter: the film references the classic Namco arcade shooting game Galaga during one of those scenes where Tony “Robert Downey Jr.” Stark (aka “Iron Man”) delivers a tightly scripted virtuoso monologue displaying his smartness and intelligence. “That man over there is playing Galaga,” he says, interrupting himself. “He thought we didn’t notice. We did.” Then he interrupts his own interruption of himself, slashing right back to the stuff he was saying about gamma radiation and government conspiracies. He does this all while wearing a “Black Sabbath” T-shirt — one featuring an image of the Triforce from The Legend of Zelda. He’s wearing a Black Sabbath T-shirt because they’ve already used the AC/DC song “Shoot to Thrill” to introduce Iron Man’s heroic swoops into action twice across three films. Here is where, maybe, the producers at Marvel Studios made that same error that the BBC’s “Look Around You” once made, when they flat-out called AC/DC “Heavy Metal”. “Iron Man”‘s producers might have been going for a subtler pun, though the takeaway is this: AC/DC is not heavy metal. They are not metal at all. They are classic rock. If you call AC/DC “metal”, you also consider Frito-Lay a food group.
When Stark’s monologue is over (thirty seconds after the “Galaga” comment), we see a quick shot back into the bridge of the flying aircraft carrier where The Avengers hang out and argue for half the film. (It’s pleasant-enough arguing (I saw the film More Than Once, after all (it was research: I wanted a deeper understanding of a logistical particulars of a billion-dollar-earning film which genuinely uses dialogue as an attraction and not a boring thing that the writers couldn’t figure out how to get rid of).))
There he is: a man playing Galaga! Man! Why the heck did it have to be Galaga? Why not Pac-Man?
Well, if you watch the credits of “The Avengers” — and who wouldn’t, when movie studios these days have to promise two post-credits fun-nuggets at least just to keep up with the Joneses — you’ll see, after the seemingly endless part wherein you realize they employed Literally Every Special Effects Company Out There, a “special thanks” section that expresses gratitude for all the usuals (fire department, police department, et cetera), and then . . . “GALAGA [TM] & NAMECO BANDAI GAMES [Copyright symbol] courtesy NAMECO-BANDAI Games America Inc.”
So, there’s that: the person tasked with typing up the credits for “The Avengers” didn’t spell “Namco” correctly. This means Galaga is not adequately credited in the film. This means Namco can probably sue. Hey, Disney and Marvel Studios — just settle out of court. Offer them five hundred dollars — they’ll take it. That’s enough for them to make another Tekken game EPIC BURN
Oh: you want to see photographic evidence? Just click that image up there, bloggers of the world. Sorry it’s a bit blurry; my hands were shaking vigorously with the thrill of Hot Scoop Action.
Man! Imagine how many other typos there are in the credits sequence of this movie! The real title is probably supposed to be “The Avengrs”.
Serious comment: that no one caught that typo is a little jarring, and kind of says a tiny little thing or two about how even the legendary Japanese game developer who made Pac-Man never quite became a Real Mainstream Household Name.
"another chocolate milk, please. why, hello there. i'm in town on business."
We were hungry for pizza — terrible pizza. And we weren’t willing to pay any less than fourteen dollars a slice. So we rented a 2011 Nissan Altima and drove six hours to the Los Angeles Convention Center. They just happened to be holding E3 that week. We decided to check it out. Here’s what we saw.