I would have published it here, though I love attention (evidence: 5,500 Twitter followers, posting something on the internet right now, etc), and also Kotaku gives me enough money to buy a new pair of shoes with every article I write.
I was going to make it a top ten list, and then I decided I’d had almost enough of people complaining about the length of my articles, so I restricted myself to eight. Kotaku is a Real Journalism Website, so I was working with a deadline: I didn’t have time to put any sort of squeeze on the text to make it ten snappy entries instead of eight roomy ones. Oh, well!
2012 has been a fantastic year for videogames. Seems like every week a new game came out that overtook my Twitter feed with OMG YOU MUST PLAY THIS, every month a new genre suddenly experiencing a revival (interactive metavisual novel fictions? Tell me more!), every season another paradigm-subverting something or another (if you don’t have time to choke down Spec Ops: The Line, go play Frog Fractions, it’s, like, the same thing).
So how do you put together a list of the Top Ten Videogames of 2012? Well, in my case, you don’t: For one, I have probably played only barely more than ten games this year, most of them weren’t released this year, and anyway, ranking games is kind of boring. Better, I think, to talk about the games I played that were interesting, and what they made me feel, however flawed they might be. That certainly makes more sense than Patrick Miller’s Top 5 Games of 2012, anyway. Here it is: Ten games I played in 2012.
The Oakland Three reminisces upon the highlights of this fiscal year through the lens of events in the world of the video game entertainment medium. The topics discussed are these:
0) Tim’s victory assignment
1) The most memorable moment in a video game this year
2) The greatest disappointment this year
3) Who won 2012
4) Video Games’ Person of the Year
5) 2012: Year of the Kickstarter
6) Vita vs. Wii U
7) New Year’s Resolutions
8) Game of the Year 2013
9) Closing thoughts
Sound editing provided by Andrew Toups, with music from The Zombies (“This Will Be Our Year”) and Neu! (Fur Immer). Next week, we will finally settle once and for all (until next year) what should be considered the Greatest Game of All Time. There have been a whole lot of video games, though, so we are only considering those nominated by you, the listener: e-mail your choice for Best Game Ever to firstname.lastname@example.org, and who knows? We may just prove you right.
-alex jaffe believes that while 2012 was pretty nice overall, it was no 2010
In a recent press conference, the National Rifle Association blamed violent media as being largely responsible for the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut. As evidence of this they cited several well-known video games, including:
Grand Theft Auto
Today, insert credit’s own Hollywood correspondent Vito Gesualdi takes a look at one of these classic titles, to see whether such a widely celebrated game could really push a potential killer over the edge.
1. Video games of Christmas Past
2. Fighting games as an Olympic event
3. Comedy in Japanese games vs. comedy in American games
4. Adrien Brody’s Predators: The Official Game of the Movie
5. Santa Games
6. What defines a good side quest
7. Chun-Li as a sex icon
8. Mid-nineties mascot design
9. The Grateful Dead of video games?
10. A GOD HAND Christmas Miracle
And, of course, our music list:
Lemon Demon – BRODYQUEST
Add N to (X) – Metal Fingers In My Body
Add N to (X) – Revenge Of The Black Regent
Sound editing provided by Andrew Toups. Join us next week for our end of the year podcast! We’ve already revealed our Game of the Year, but there’s plenty more to talk about where that came from. And, in TWO weeks, we will begin what we hope will be an annual tradition where we re-evaluate the Best Video Games of All Time. If you’d like us to consider a game, submit your nomination to email@example.com, and follow the news in our Facebook group.
“Yabba Dabba Doo”
-alex jaffe (as made famous by Fred Flintstone, as made even more famous by tim rogers)
1. Q*Bert, narrated
2. Anatomy of a Fake Gamer
3. Internal Game Economies
4. SimCity wish lists
5. The Spike TV Video Game Awards: for your consideration
6. Essential music for Grand Theft Auto V 7. Wikipedia: The Game
8. The history of games as a male activity
9. Overused protagonist archetypes
10. The most pretentious video game ever made
Music: Francoise Hardy – “Le Temps d’Amour”
Jacques Dutronc – “Les Playboys”
France Gall – “Teeny Weeny Boppie”
Francoise Hardy – “Ce Petit Coeur”
What the heck, man? Did you miss the livestream this week again? We reminded you about it like ten times! Okay, don’t panic. The good news is that the main event has been preserved for all time right here in our podcast archive. Here’s an overview of the topics frank, tim, and brandon discussed while you totally dropped the ball:
1. Brandon’s homework assignment
2. Fighting game spinoffs
3. Using the GPS in smartphone games
4. Rail shooters
5. Redrafting ESRB policy
6. Acceptable circumstances in which to use the word “epic”
7. Jobs which prepare you for game design
8. How the impending Mayan apocalypse will affect the video game industry
9. Exceptional minigames
10. Minesweeper, reimagined as a Tetsuya Nomura project
Look. I don’t want this to happen again any more than you do. So why not join our Facebook group? We’ll be sure to let you know when the show’s coming up, and even provide a link to where you can watch it. I promise no one will look at you funny like you just showed up for the first time in class halfway through the semester.
While you’re at it, you can drop a quick e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org some time between now and December 25th to let us know what your pick is for the 2012 Game of the Year! We’ll discuss the results in our final show of the year, provided we have not all ascended to an ineffable plane of existence on the back of Quetzalcoatl.
Special thanks as always to soundsman Andrew Toups, who provided original music for this week’s episode. Hot job, Toups!
Remember guys: YouTube, Facebook, iTunes, email, Twitter, RSS. I think that’s everything. Is that everything?
We’ve threatened you with it before, and this time we actually followed through — we had our very first livestreamed podcast! We had a blast doing it, so if the lord is willing and the creek don’t rise, that’s how we’ll be doing those from here on out. We were blown away by how many of you who showed up on such short notice! In the future, we’ll be keeping you in the loop through our Facebook group. So if you haven’t joined yet, now’s the time. Keep sending in your questions to email@example.com, and we’ll see you later this week. Or, at any rate, you’ll see us.
-alex jaffe didn’t realize his hair was getting that thin